Have you been at a crossroads for if you should begin your journey or wait for a “better time?”  When it comes to your happiness, there is no better time than right now to make a change.  Being healthy is not all about weight loss and becoming a tiny person.  It’s about making changes so that you can be the person that you truly are and letting that light out.  When you exercise, eat right, and feed your mind you truly start to live at that next level.  This is what we all need to strive for – allowing ourselves to step into the people we truly are.  Don’t let fear and doubt hold you back from moving forward.  There’s always time to become a better you.

When I first decided to make a change in my health, I really wanted to just lose weight.  I didn’t really care about anything else. I had an eating disorder in high school that left me gaining a lot of weight when I went to college.  It completely changed me, mentally and physically, and I became fixated on food, weight, and how much I hated my appearance.  When I had my disorder it wasn’t even necessarily that I believed eating a bite of something would make me gain weight, but I became afraid of food.  I was nervous, had crazy anxiety, avoided situations, hid, and my family was incredibly affected.  Imagine what it was like for my family, seeing me wasting away, getting angry, having terrible mood swings, and knowing that I was sick.  It was an emotional rollercoaster for all of us.  When I left for college I began eating, though because my metabolism was absolutely screwed from how I had messed it up, I gained over 30 pounds in my first semester.  It was terrifying.  I worked out almost two hours a day and still wasn’t able to lose the weight.  Mentally I was going crazy.  I couldn’t believe what was happening and I hid under a happy face and false confidence.  Eventually, I hid myself in drinking as alcohol blocked out feelings and it felt good to be numb.  This didn’t fix any problems for me though.  I consistently was pretending to be something that I wasn’t.  I was trying to be funny, smart, witty, popular, you name it, just so that I could feel wanted and loved.  Was that me?  No.  I am a good person.  I would feel so bad sometimes because I never felt anyone actually knew me.  I can be shy and quiet because the peacefulness makes me grateful.  I love to read and to write.  I love to dream and hope for an amazing future.  People who (seemingly) have it all together inspire me.  It makes me yearn for more and to not settle because I’ve been at that rock bottom knowing I am worth more than where I am at now.

Then came that moment.  I had a relationship with someone who accepted me and really knew my secrets that I wouldn’t share with anyone.  She respected me, laughed with me, cried with me… I felt real for the first time in a long time.  My personal trainer had been that person for me.  I have always been active and loved to workout.  Though I really didn’t know how to exercise to see results.  The two hours a day in the gym was seriously lacking in results and for the effort I was putting in, I was pissed!  But, she had this light about her where I knew I could trust her with everything.  I opened up, she gave back.  I still remember a conversation we had together on the bleachers by the tennis courts.  I was being fake and complaining about lack of results.   She saw right through it and wound back at me with some serious truth talk.  No laughing, no jokes.  She told me about the need for some real self-love.  She could guide me, but nothing would change unless I was willing to accept me for who I was, where I was at, and move forward.  The only person that was holding me back was ME.

I’m a smart girl.  Though, I realized how much my attitude and my judgement was really clouding truth.  I couldn’t see it because of the blanket I kept myself in for so long.  Self-loathing and pessimism at its finest.  For whatever reason, I was finally able to SEE the truth.  I understood that I needed to empower myself.  No one could fix me but me.  It was no one’s job to do it but my own.  There was no hand holding, just some real tough love on myself to make a change and to hold myself accountable (because I still didn’t want anyone else to know my real struggle).  It had been four years of denial and pretending.  I decided it was up to me to get over it, change my thoughts, and make myself a success.

I started with working on me.  I began going to church again and surrounded myself with new people.  I read different books and tried to take on a new perspective.  I even dyed my hair brown!  When I realized my lack of respect and love for me, I knew it had been long overdue.

During this time I had also been introduced to Isagenix products.  When I worked out with my trainer I had been introduced to clean eating and eating smaller meals throughout the day to stimulate my metabolism.  I really loved this concept and began working on it right away.  Again, when I started it was all about the weight loss!  As I was eating better I had some great benefits to my health.  My hair looked better, skin looked better, and I was craving less junk food.  However, I was not losing any weight and in fact going up in weight because I was building muscle.  My body physique had changed, though I wasn’t losing any body fat over the four months I had begun this approach.  When my trainer had been introduced to the products from someone she well trusted, I of course jumped on board when she asked me.  My mom had always used a nutritional supplement and this was nothing new to my diet as well.  After one week of using the products, my body lit up.  I felt better, I slept better, my mood was better, and I was more energetic.  It was a crazy feeling to wake up in the morning actually feeling good and not wanting to cry when I had to force myself to get out of bed.  After that first month, I knew that this was the missing piece to get me back to the person I knew I really was inside.  I also lost 10 pounds of body fat.  Overall, it was a very exciting feeling!  My body wasn’t getting the nutrients it needed even though I was eating healthy.  I needed something more to overcome the imbalances that I had and didn’t even know it!  I vowed to never stop using the products because I didn’t want to feel the way I had felt before.  If I was going to become a better me, I had better start committing to making a massive change.

The gift I gave myself is far more than I could have ever imagined.  I had to make that decision even though it was incredibly hard to make changes.  I pushed through, had good days and bad days.  Though, I am a stronger and more resilient person.  I am so grateful for what fitness and healthy eating has done for me.  This is why I do what I do.  It is to inspire others to accept themselves and to let pride go to step into a better self.

Whether or not my story relates to yours, there’s always someone we are hiding if we don’t take the necessary steps to have a better quality of life.  If you are on the fence, move forward.  If you are certain you don’t need to make any changes, think again and let your pride go.